Is Your Partner Cheating? 6 Digital Clues
There is no greater sense of betrayal than realizing your spouse is having an affair. Shock, anger, humiliation and sadness are all normal reactions to a spouse or significant other’s infidelity. Your trust and your heart are shattered.
Sadly, affairs are easier than ever to come by with the proliferation of sketchy dating and “hookup” websites that seem to cater to cheaters. But how does one know if their long term partner is, indeed, straying from the relationship? (Of course, they will deny it if confronted!)
Technology can actually help you determine if your loved one is being unfaithful. Some clever, and perfectly legal, sleuthing of your partners “digital footprint” can confirm (or put to rest) your fears that they are being untrue.
In this article our Oakland County divorce attorneys share six digital ways to determine if your partner is indeed cheating on you.
- They’re Suddenly Possessive of Their Phone
Our Oakland County divorce clients frequently report that a cheating spouse who was previously very casual about the whereabouts of their cell phone suddenly becomes obsessive about having it with them. They constantly keep their phone within their reach- and out of your reach!
When sleeping they may no longer put their phone on the nightstand – keeping it under their pillow, or even locked in a drawer or their briefcase.
Your significant other may now also constantly be texting, when before they rarely sent or received texts. But when asked who their texting they won’t tell you, are vague, or become defensive. They may also constantly hold the phone angled away from you, go into other rooms to respond to a text, or even spend a weirdly long time in the bathroom texting their paramour!
- Their Device Usage Changes
A partner’s evidence of infidelity isn’t limited to texting. People having affairs will often use laptops and tablets, for communication with their new squeeze.
If your partner is suddenly on their laptop or tablet all the time, without a reasonable explanation (or vague answers like “I’m working”) – something may be up. A new favorite place for communicating in private is Google Docs.
- They Have a Second Cell Phone or SIM card
The most surreptitious of cheating partners will sometimes purchase a second secret phone. Or, if they’re really tech savvy, may swap out a second “SIM card” using the same device. This enables them to switch out all of their data without anyone knowing.
If you find a second, hidden phone or SIM card, it’s pretty clear they are up to something secretive – whether it’s infidelity or another serious problem.
- Phone Tracking Reveals Their Travels
Suspicions of infidelity can lead to snooping with “spy apps” – but there are actually some useful tools already installed on phones that can provide clues about a suspected affair. On iPhones that are connected to a family account, enabling “location-sharing” lets you locate the device two ways. You can log into iCloud.com and use “Find My iPhone”. Or you can utilize the “Find My Friends” app.
Under “Settings” there is also a Location Services feature that reveals everywhere that the iPhone has been. It provides a list of visited cities, which can be clicked to reveal the actual addresses. If your partner has a passcode for their iPhone, you will need to enter it before you can see the list of locations.
It’s even easier if your partner uses an Android cell phone and stays logged into their Google account. Simply use a shared computer where they access Gmail or other Google services, and type “Find My Phone” in the search bar. And Voila! It shows you a map with the phone’s location.
- Spyware Apps Show Unusual Activity
If your partner’s iPhone is locked, or they aren’t logged into Gmail/Google, there are still some spy apps for purchase that you can use to monitor their device.
One such app called “Highster Mobile” uses “over the air” technology to let you download and install itself on your partner’s cellular phone. Simply enter the telephone number of the phone you want to monitor during installation – then activate it with a license key.
The cost varies from around $30 for basic features to about $70 for more advanced monitoring that also tracks social media activity.
- They Open a Hidden Cloud Account
“The Cloud” refers to storing one’s digital data on a third-party “server,” rather than on your own computer or phone. A Cloud account is 100% private, password protected, and keeps compromising information off your personal devices. Unfaithful spouses have been known to create a Cloud Account and then share the password with their lover to discreetly share communications, photos, and videos.
Consult an Oakland County Divorce Attorney
While unfounded suspicions of cheating can occupy your thoughts – usually “where there’s smoke there’s fire”. So being cognizant of your partner’s digital habits – especially if they suddenly change – is wise. They can be an early warning sign that shouldn’t be ignored or “explained away.”
Oakland County divorce attorney Starla Zehr has handled the divorces of many “cheated on” spouses over the years. Being honest and open with your partner is always the best plan – and “spying” can lead to legal trouble if you go too far.
So if you suspect your spouse is cheating, it is important to keep your eyes and ears open – and know your legal rights. Oakland County divorce attorney Starla Zehr will offer you a consultation to help you understand your legal rights if your spouse is cheating on you – so you can be protected no matter what you eventually find out.